Fingerprints

Below is my first article for WordPress. This isn’t my most well written perhaps, but it is my favorite. It revolves around how we interact with one another, and the impressions we leave. I could write something political, or another gun article, but I would rather write something that will make this a better place. What we each do in our everyday lives matters.

We interact with one another, and we can choose how that will effect those around us. Do we pour ourselves into another person to help them, or do we just “keep it casual”, not leaving much behind. This is the article I wrote and read for my Stepfather Bill’s services. It is far more personal than I am really comfortable with, but that’s why I love it so much.

Today, make a conscious choice on how you will impact others, and what you will leave behind with them afterwards.

In police work I deal with fingerprints often. They tell us where a suspect has been, what he’s touched, and help us get a better picture of what has happened. The guy (or gal) can’t help it, no matter what you touch, you leave a little bit of yourself there behind…some oil, dirt, and maybe even a little of your DNA. If you looked at my house, you’d see my fingerprints all over it. On my phone, the computer where I type, or my badge while it’s sitting on the shelf before I put it on. In fact, you’ll really get a feel of what someone really values because you’ll see their fingerprints all over it. If it’s something important to us, we cant help but touch it, and leave a part of us with it.
The idea of fingerprints that we leave behind became very real to me when my Stepdad, Bill, passed away. As far as I’m concerned is it’s far too soon, but God didn’t bother consulting me. To give you some context to this, my stepdad met my mom, and by extension me, 35 years ago. As I look back, I have to admit I wasn’t my best self at that point in my life 11 or 12 years in.
In the years that followed, Bill was the man who raised me, and taught me about being a young man. As a former Marine he taught me the value of Duty, Honor, and service. He taught me the importance of hard work, and worked alongside me in countless projects around the house. I remember burning the clutch out of our old Honda pulling out shrubs in the front yard, and countless other home improvements.
As a believer he taught me the supremacy of God, His power, and His outrageously accepting love of me. He made sure I was involved in church, but somehow it never felt like I was pushed, more like he put me in a place that I was sort of sucked into and became a part of it.
Yes, I rebelled a time or two, and we battled it out plenty as I was trying to assert my own independence. Bill was patient, and allowed me to keep my head on a time or two when I probably deserved not to. I wasn’t quite an angel, but as I grew up I learned that no matter what I did, there was always an open door at home, and a loving hug inside. Even when I screwed up on a colossal scale.
Dinnertime was always a special time for the family. We would all gather, and eat together, but what I remember most were the marathon debate sessions we had. No topic went unanswered, nor was any topic off-limits. Bill would always play devil’s advocate, and so no matter what my position, we were always on the opposite sides of the issue. It drove me crazy, but I loved it. It let me sharpen my arguments, and I realized that opposition forces us to defend and refine our positions. It also forces us to abandon bad ideas…because we’re not always right. To this day, I look for people who disagree with me for people to work with for this very reason. My positions became stronger and more solidly formed. I’ve also had to abandon a few ideas that I soon saw didn’t stand up to scrutiny.
One expression became important for these sessions…”Disagreement is not tantamount to Disloyalty.” This meant that no matter what went on during our debate sessions, we were still family, still loved each other, and didn’t hold a differing opinion against the other. It was an open exchange of ideas, though all our positions were passionately defended.
To this day I enjoy a good debate. I still see it as the best way to refine and develop any issue or solution to a problem. It has left me with the utmost value for a decision made by a group who passionately believe in their position and work through their problems together.
The fingerprints left on my life from Bill are everywhere I look. They’re in how I look at leadership, at how I see professional relationships, and how I believe we can relate to one another as people. Bill’s fingerprints are my flaming liberal side that comes out on occasion when I see something I consider unjust, or the love of imperfect leaders such as JFK or Martin Luther King who made incredible things happen, even though they weren’t perfect.
I think the greatest “print” Bill left on my life is this. I once heard a person say that many people see God through their own experience with their father. In this, Bill has left me the ultimate gif, because If this is true, I see God as an unconditionally loving God who loves me in spite of my flaws and failures. He always hears what I have to say, even when He doesn’t agree, He lets me be heard. In the end, He invests in me to make me a better person in this world by teaching this spoiled, rough edged kid into an adult.
This was the greatest gift any parent can give their child. Bill did this, and if you look around, you’ll see many other people he did this with as well. He invested his time and energy in me, because that’s the kind of man he was. Bill wasn’t perfect, but none of us are. In the end, the fingerprints he left are all around me, and in every part of my life because of this. They are also in my kids, because the fingerprints left on us, teach us and are part of the prints we leave on others.
These are the fingerprints I see that really matter. These are the fingerprints I hope I leave on others. What fingerprints will you leave behind?